The Tales of the Confused Heart
by perksofbeing-stiles
Summary: Stiles keeps a diary and it contains all his thoughts, confusions and confessions. Follow his story, entry by entry, as Stiles goes through his ups and downs. But what happens when someone finds it? [Eventual Sterek]
1. Chapter 1

**{This is my first attempt of trying to write a descent piece of writing, so forgive me if its rubbish. I just wanted to try out having the characteristics of the one and only stiles Stilinski. Please tell me what you think, if you think its crap and you don't think I should do this fan fiction thing tell me, any criticism is welcome :) ~ Aimee}**

Dear Diary shit journal,

Today the counsellor said that I should write a journal. So here I am. I feel so stupid. I'm just talking to myself.

I guess I've got to tell you how my day went and let all my feelings pour out onto the page. Damn I feel like such a girl.

Anyway, today, today something bad happened. Ill probably sound a lot like Scott for what I'm about to say but who cares. By the way Scott's my best friend. I thought you should know that for future reference;)

Off topic.

When I finally got out of school I saw him again. Whenever I'm around him my heart feels like it's going to leap right out of my chest.

I don't know why I feel this way towards him. Lydia is the only one that can make my heart skip a beat. Or so I thought. But now, now whenever I'm near her, nothing happens.

I used to freak out every time she would bother talking to me and that's just like a word by the way. Walking past me with her perfect strawberry blond hair falling just right and when that happens now, nothing.

After thinking about it, I've finally come to terms that me, Stiles Stilinski, the awkward piece of shit is well and truly, 100% gay!

I know what you thinking. How can Stiles be gay? He always drools over girls.

Well my friend, you ether except me or forget me.

And on that note, I'm off to go drool over shirtless pictures of Darren Criss.

Adios amigo!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Journal,

Yeah it's me again, Stiles.

It still feels weird talking to myself but hey ho, I'll get used to it.

By the way you might want to sit down and get a coffee or something because I've got a lot to fill you in on, and I mean a lot.

To start off, in school the pack are starting to look at me weird, like I've killed Bambi. I don't have a clue what's going on, but I'm going to go to town on this shit. I hope it's not something strange and i really don't want them to be hiding something from me like 'pack business'. I'm part of the pack, right? I know I'm not a werewolf and all but I'm the one that finds all the shit out. Thinking about it, they would probably be dead without me. That might be over exaggerating a bit, but come on.

You would of thought Scott would of told me, but no.

It kind of hurts me that they might not trust me. It's like 'Of course you can trust me, I'm Stiles for fuck sake. Did you see how long I had the keep my dad from finding out about all this supernatural shit to keep your werewolf asses from being killed?' Again I'm exaggerating a little about the whole killing thing, but my dad wouldn't be scared to get his gun and shoot one of them in the leg or something.

But whatever.

I've also got a major crisis happening right now. As you know, I've recently found out certain things about myself and my sexuality, but I don't know how to tell anyone. Not even Scott.

A while ago I tried to tell my dad. He said 'Stiles you're not gay'. I just left it at that. That's why I don't know how to tell anyone. Yet I did try and tell Scott the other day but his heads to far up Allison's Ass to notice me.

I'll admit it. I'm scared ok. I just don't know what to do. I wish I had the guts to tell someone, anyone.

I wish mom was still here, she would of believed me. She would of sat down with me and told me everything was going to be ok and if I ever needed anyone to talk to, go find her.

But she's not here anymore.

I've never told my dad this but I go to my mom's grave and talk to her sometimes. I know she will always listen to me ramble on about all the shit that's going on in my life. I know it sounds pathetic that I talk to my dead mother but it always makes me feel better whenever a drop by to pay her a visit. It's easier to talk to her then my school councillor to be honest.

Speaking of my school councillor, I've got to get to my next appointment.

Talk to you later :)


End file.
